Trojans Go Limp Against Beavers…Again

26 09 2008
Trojan-Enz their perfect season

Thursday night Pac-10 football! (Must. Control. Excitement!) While most of us were watching the season premier of The Office, a little game was being played over on ESPN. USC travelled up to that little town in Oregon where Trojans go to die, when they faced up against Oregon State last night in Corvallis. USC went into last night’s game ranked number one in the country. Oregon State on the other hand, went into last night’s game as the number one team most likely to get their asses handed to them by a BIG 10 team.

In between watching Michael Scott in a fat suit and Dwight blasting Angela out in the warehouse, I occasionally flipped back to the shitshow that was USC vs. OSU. I tuned in just in time to see Erin Andrews reporting at the half. I’d like to show her “Beaver” my “Trojan” if you know what I mean (wink, wink.) Get it, I’m talking about intercourse.
Moving on, The Trojans’ number one ranked defense somehow shit the bed in the first half, allowing the Beavers to put up 21 points to their zero. The biggest, fastest D in the nation could not stop the smallest, youngest running back. A 5’7” freshman ran all over USC’s D like a pre-drepresed Vince Young. 
The Trojans started off the second half with two possessions and two TDs (where the hell was that the first half!?) In the fourth quarter, the Beavers had an opportunity to make it a two possession game, but a back-up kicker’s line drive was met by a USC lineman’s hand. 
Just when the Song Girls thought they had something to cheer about, the Beavers’ D stepped up and gave Mark a dirty Sanchez by intercepting his pass and running it back to the 2-yard-line. The freshman Beaver then added onto his 187-yard total by punching it in for the cous de gras.
USC came back for one last drive led by  QB John David Booty Mark Sanchez. Meanwhile on the sideline, Erin Andrews was seeking refuge from the 30,000 drunk, horny college students who had jumped onto the field. Sanchez was able to lob one in for 6, but it was too little too late for the Trojans.
Can’t say I feel too sorry for Sanchez and his fourth quarter interception. Take the feeling of that loss and combine it with the fact that he is single, lives in LA and is the starting quarterback for USC. Who cares about the OSU Beavers when you’ve got plenty of LA beaver chasing you around campus.
Oregon State – 27
Southern Cal – 21
edunn
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3 responses

26 09 2008
Keith

A pic of erin andrews would have been appreciated…. it will all come together soon enough.

26 09 2008
Species

come on’… biggest , fastest, USC ??? i thought we just cleared that up… well if you won’t say it, then I guess Oregon St. says it all… how severely overrated USC and the Pac-10 is. I am glad you pointed out the ass whooping penn state gave Oregon state earlier this month… of course I’m sure they “penn st.” will prove the USC victory over Ohio St. wasn’t shit either… we will see

27 09 2008
Kathryn

plenty of LA beaver?! aside from the vulgarities, this site it pretty awesome, dunn!!! i may have to start paying attention to sports in order to digest the content of your articles. either way, you are such a talented writer and i love you. xo

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