Quinn Could Be The New Cleveland Steamer

9 10 2008

You put your left hand in, you put your left crotch out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about."

Derek Anderson might be able to pinch a loaf or drop the kids off at the pool, but he sure as hell can’t take the Browns to the Super Bowl. Anderson is what I’d like to call…. “victoriously constipated.”

There are plenty of analogies for the way the Browns have started off the 2008 season. Unfortunately for Anderson and Browns fans everywhere, most of those analogies have to do with defecation (that means “shitting” for you people from Cleveland.) Anderson has led the crappy Browns (double negative) to 1-3 record. He has bent over Brown’s fans and given each one a Cleveland Steamer .Kinda hard to tell with those dark brown replica jerseys though.

How do they fix their leaky ass of a quarterback? The one who can’t seem to stop dropping heat on his other players and fans? Enter the savior. Or should I say, the Pepto Bismol to Derek Anderson’s shitty arm. Get ready Brown’s fans, Brady Quinn may soon step in and wake up the echos of Cleveland’s past. Ya know, all the way back in 1999 when your team was reinstated.

Quinn, a first round pick by the Browns back in ’06, has not been handed over the starting position……yet. I am sure, however, that Romeo Crennel and his staff will have Quinn starting by week 9. Due in large part to the fact they will most likely be 1-8 at that point.

So put down that clip board Quinn and get ready to finish off a season that will long be lost, but not forgotten. You might soon be a starting quarterback in the NFL. You know what that means? Parties. Girls. Fame. Fortune. Ahhh shit, I almost forgot………you live in Cleveland! Well hey, I hear they throw huge ragers when the river catches on fire. So you’ve got THAT going for you. The girls will most likely be the pale-Midwestern type, but we know you’re used to that shit from South Bend. You’ll fit right in as the starting QB. Hell, you’ll even make the fans feel right at home by losing a few games. Good luck Brady. Look at it this way, if you lose, it’s like stacking shit on top of shit….your team can’t get much worse!

Who am I kidding. Anyone of us would give up a year’s salary to spend one night out in Brady Quinn’s shoes. A 6’5” professional quarterback making millions of dollars? They tend to see quite a few ladies naked (usually more than one at a time.) Damn you life for making me only 5’8″!!!!!

edunn

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