Kerry Collins Is Better At Football/Drinking Than Vince Young

22 10 2008

Keg Stand Kerry is looking like his old drunk self these days.

According to the ESPN Power Rankings (making jerk off motions) the Tennessee Titans are the best team in the NFL. Really ESPN? The fucking Titans? The ANALysts on NFL Live have established their best argument as “Well, they’re the only undefeated team left in the NFL.” Ooohh, well in that case….they must be the cat’s fuckin’ pajamas!

I don’t want to diminish the fact that the Titans have had a good start to the year, because they certainly deserve some praise. But let’s be honest with each other for a minute. There’s a simple reason for that success, and it’s enough to send Vince Young running for a razor-blade. Are you ready for this….Kerry Collins is a better quarterback than Vince Young. Booooyah!!! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Keg Stand Kerry, as he was so popularly known in State College, PA, is the reason why the Titans have yet to drop a game. Believe me, I know it sounds weird, but Collins is the perfect quarterback for the Titans. Let’s take a look at their offense, shall we? Their receivers are a joke. I guarantee Justin Gage and Bo Scaife are still sitting on your fantasy league’s free agency wire. Their running backs on the other hand, are tearing up fantasy leagues and reality defenses. LenDale White and Chris Johnson could quite possibly be the best RB tandem in the NFL. Combined they share 13 touchdowns and over 900 all-purpose yards. There is one thing they don’t share though…and that’s food. Have you seen the cream puff that is LenDale White? When he ran for that  60+ yard touchdown last week, I guarantee he was breathing like James Gandolfini after walking up a flight of stairs.

Collins works so well in the Titans’ offense, because he’s not a selfish prick of a QB like Young. He doesn’t dance around in the pocket, see no one open and eventually run for a short gain. That would be the VYoung special. Most importantly, Collins is a seasoned, accurate passer, who doesn’t throw nearly as many errant passes as Young. Young might have a stronger arm, but that doesn’t mean shit when you’re throwing those hard passes into the arms of someone in a different colored jersey.

There is one other important factor as to why Kerry Collins should continue to start over the “injured” Vince Young. He’s been to this rodeo and has the t-shirt and scars to prove it. He took a pretty mediocre team with a solid defense to the Super Bowl in 2000. Collins was able to manage the Giants’ offense back then (minus the Super Bowl game) the same way he is managing the Titans now. By pretty much not fucking it up. His job is to hand off, dump off short screen passes or quick slants and sit back, relax and watch his team score.

 Sorry Vince Young, but if you get back on this waggon, the wheels are certain to fall off quickly. On the other hand, if Kerry Collins gets back on the waggon (of booze that is) the Titans are destined to lose in the Super Bowl.

edunn

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One response

23 10 2008
Species

leave vince alone! us here in texas only like to remember him as the rose bowl champ… lets not look past that… its all that matters, lol, although a kid by the name of colt is quickly replacing his memory if he pulls this season off…

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