It’s Friday…You Aint Got No Job…You Aint Got S#!t To Do!

24 10 2008

It’s Friday afternoon, which means most of this blog’s readership is halfway through a case of Natty Light by now. Since most of you are on track to being black out drunk by 8:00pm, I’ll keep this post short and sour  sweet.

It’s a great weekend to be a sports fan. This is one of those weekends you reminisce about in June or July, when the only things worth watching are either the first round of Wimbledon or a Cubs/Pirates day game on WGN. So sit back, grab another case of Natty or a keg can of Heiny, and enjoy this weekend’s stellar line-up of televised sporting events. Seriously, this is one of those weekends when your girlfriend (like anyone reading this actually has one) will certainly be pissed at you by Sunday afternoon. What do you think the over-under is for hearing this statement from your girlfriend/wife :”How many stupid games are you going to watch!!!?” I’d say at least 5….per day. They might even follow it up with “Are you going to leave the house at all today?!!”

Get your fanhood and liver ready, it’s going to be a debauchery fueled weekend. Here’s what to watch before throwing your remote through your brand new LCD TV:

Friday Night

#12 BOISE STATE over San Jose State: Alright, so maybe the weekend won’t start off with a bang, but you’ll be so obnoxiously hammered by this point, that you’ll most likely picka fight with anyone in a Boise State t-shirt. “Fuck you and your blue field!”

Saturday (the early games)

#8 TEXAS TECH over #23 Kansas: Unless this game is being played at Allen Fieldhouse, Kansas has no chance to stop Graham Harrell and his 60 passing attempts per game.

#22 NORTHWESTERN over Indiana: Their SAT scores are higher than yours and so is their BCS ranking.

Saturday (afternoon games)

#1 TEXAS over #6 Oklahoma State: T. Boone Pickens can’t donate enough money to make this team beat Colt McCoy and his 80% completion rating.

#7 GEORGIA over #13 Louisiana State: LSU will get nervous when Mark Richt unveils the Bulldogs will be wearing their new, intimidating…………. White Jerseys!!!!! He’s so innovative!!!

#25 FLORIDA STATE over Viginia Tech: FSU is finally ranked, please don’t go fucking it up now!

Saturday (night games)

#3 PENN STATE over #9 Ohio State: The Blue “Royser” Cult will make OSU’s defense “Fear the Reaper” (oh, and Daryll Clark and Derek Williams are somewhat talented on PSU’s offense. By somewhat I mean they are fucking lighting it up.)

ARIZONA over #5 Southern Cal: You heard it hear first folks. Well, actually a lot of people are predicting this, but let’s just pretend you read it on this site first.

RAYS over Phillies: A friend of mine from Philly, who’s obviously a Phillies fan, asked me if I wanted to go to this game with him in Philly. I’ll tell you what I told him. There is no way in hell I would ever go to a game, of any sort, in Philadelphia, where I would be cheering for the opposing team. I guess I just enjoy seeing a game without getting punched in the face, pee’d on, beer thrown on my Rays shirt, eggs thrown at, or snowballs whizzed by my head. That’s just me.

Sunday (NFL and World Series)

PITTSBURGH over Giants: Let’s be honest, this is the only game worth watching all day on Sunday. Two of the best teams with two of the best QBs, defenses and running games in the NFL. Tom Coughlin is going to feel like even more of an asshole when a guy named “Mewelde” rushes for over 100 yards on his defense.

RAYS over Phillies: After the Phillies lose this game, the fair-weather fans in Philly will find a way to pelt snow balls at Ryan Howard. Even if it’s not snowing, those crazy ass Philly fans are determined to hit SOMEONE with a snowball damnit!





One response

25 10 2008

i like the college picks…and you are wise not to go to philadelphia with a rays jersey… however, I don’t think the rays will take both games… especially with snowballs flying

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