This Price Sounds Reasonable

16 01 2009


Just take a quick ganders at the ticket prices above for Super Bowl XLIII. I must caution you, however, take your laptop in the bathroom before doing so…these prices could make a grown man shit himself.

Notice how many numbers are to the left of each decimal place? Then just to the right of that decimal where it says “each?” Now take a second to realize, I found this page on StubHub by clicking a link titled:  “Cheap Super Bowl Tickets.” First off, what asshole at decided to throw the word “cheap” in that link? Some dickwad in the IT department, probably taking a break from playing Halo 3, thought it would be funny to mislead football fans by making them  believe the ticket prices they were about to read…were actually not too expensive! Then we inevitably click with hopes of  affording tickets to the Super Bowl for once in our GD lives and quickly notice that “cheap tickets”,  should actually be labeled: “Who are you kidding, you’re broke ass can’t afford Super Bowl fucking tickets!” Awesome. Another exciting year of paying to get in a bar, buying $6 Miller Lites and blacking out before the game ends. Super Bowl Sunday fuckin rocks!

Here’s a little something that might keep you up tonight, crying in the fetil position and wondering what the hell you’re doing with your life: Some people scan through those ticket prices, see the $2,000 price tag and still say: “I’ll take four.” These are the same dicks who make Christmas bonuses the same  size as your annual paycheck. I like to refer to them as “fucking assholes”, however, some people call them “wealthy.”

The hard truth is that Super Bowl tickets are so GD expensive, because assholes like your boss will drop four bills (that’s $4,000 for those who don’t speak street) on two tickets and think nothing of it. Where as when you drop a bill (actual one dollar bill)  on something, it usually involves a four piece McNugget or double cheeseburger. It’s a simple case of the haves…and the have nots.

So, long story short (probably too late) my beloved black and gold boys from the ‘Burgh are playing in Sunday night’s AFC North showdown. If they can make it a perfect 3-0 against the purple assholes of Baltimore, I will be flying back home to Tampa with hopes of going to Super Bowl XLIII. And when I say “going to the Super Bowl”, I mean “getting  shit-hammered and walking around the stadium in my beer-stained Big Ben jersey.” Because let’s face it, buying one ticket to the Super Bowl is like buying an expensive hooker for the night. It will feel great and certainly be memorable, but once your girlfriend/wife finds out you just spent the entire month’s rent for one night…you’ll have wished you at least got a BJ out of the deal. If that didn’t make sense, guess what…this is me not caring.





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